No Regrets
by AlternativeRocker
Summary: "If I laughed and showed kindness it's cause you made me feel good for a while / In your arms this girl's chances didn't seem so bad" I Will and I Won't - Deacon Blue… Short Jimmi and Emma fics, not all romance. Varying themes and ratings possible.
1. Food Swaps

**Note:** Missing scene from 'Losing the Plot' because I'm in need of all the Jimmi and Emma potential.

* * *

"I don't get how you can eat so much of this junk. It tastes revolting." Jimmi complained as he forced down another bite of the filled sandwich, only an hour or so after the last.

"Why the swap? You're clearly hating it." Emma had heard about this between morning surgeries and she still didn't understand what purpose it held.

"It's a social experiment, Dr Reid." Al replied, proud that he had came up with this idea - although he was less than interested in the little food that he was having to eat.

She stirred her coffee as she turned to them with a brow raised, "How exactly?"

Jimmi answered with a grimace, "Apparently it tests who has the strongest resolve. I have said countless times that I am happy to lose without it even having to begin."

"Al, can't you just be happy with his support? He doesn't want to do this."

Al shook his head at Jimmi, "Getting your girlfriend to fight your battles, I am disappointed in you."

"She's not my girlfriend." He said with a sigh as Emma rolled her eyes; the comments and innuendo about their night together had not ceased in the days since everyone found out.

"Yeah, yeah, and we all of course believe that." The pair in question had quickly realised it wasn't worth getting into arguments with their colleagues over the matter and hoped it would die down on its own if they ignored it.

"I don't get why Jimmi has to make his diet unhealthy rather than you just matching up to what he eats."

"Em, isn't he a little too healthy though?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with him." She commented, catching Jimmi's eye and smiling sweetly over her mug at him.

"You guys are truly sickening, I can't be around this." Al protested as he stood up and headed in the direction of his consultation room.

Taking the newly vacated chair she smirked, "Knew that would get rid of him. You can bin it now, he's out of sight."

"Thank you." He said, throwing it instantly into the bag behind him.

"You're too nice." Emma pointed out while replacing the lid on the yoghurt she had grabbed from her fridge that morning, now realising it was a week out of date.

Without them saying anything about it he picked up the carton and binned it too, guessing what was wrong. "Most people don't think of that as a flaw."

"Did I say it was a bad thing? I have a lot to thank that good nature for." Emma said, smiling as they both knew they would allow the other to make reference to that casino night without complaint.

"Chocolate bar? I honestly don't want to look at another piece of food for a very long time after today."

"What a charmer." She muttered, taking the proffered sweet, accidentally brushing her fingers against his, the touch making both avert their lines of sight as it was the first physical contact since then. "Thanks. I should probably go take my coffee and prepare for afternoon appointments."

"Course, I should too." Neither pointed out that they still had 25 minutes remaining before they had to go back to their solitude. It seemed that it was alright when they were hinting about their actions but feeling the same reaction from such a simple graze was surprising. Not unpleasant, just confusing after the agreement that it was a one time thing.


	2. Morning

Emma groaned as she reached out to turn her phone's alarm off but realised it was still in the pocket of her trousers which could be anywhere on the upstairs floor of this building. The arm around her waist tightened as she spoke, "Forgot to turn that off, sorry."

"Wasn't sleeping anyway." Jimmi mumbled behind her, his voice giving away the truth as he lazily kissed her shoulder.

"Sounds it." He could sense the smirk from her tone.

It was another time when they had not planned to fall into bed together but neither wished to run away this morning. The previous evening they had ended up at his house which she was now grateful for so they didn't have to worry about anyone else being home. And as her alarm tone started up again they were thankful there was nobody else to find the scattered clothing - they had somehow been more desperate for the contact second time around.

She turned her head into the pillow, "God, I'll look a state."

He chuckled, lying out on his back, "Emma, you are recalling that I have seen you the morning after before? And that time you had been drinking a lot more than last night."

"Yes, but so had you, your vision or memory will have been hazy. This morning there is harsh daylight and clear heads." She never usually became self-conscious in this way - she had spent enough nights and mornings with men to know she wasn't unattractive - but she and Jimmi had been the closest of friends for such a long time it felt different with him.

"I've also been with you at a fitness class; you didn't have a speck of make-up on, you were out of breath and rosy-cheeked yet you still managed to be stunning."

"Urgh, I need to stop spending time with you if I'm going to keep any sorts of secrets, dignity or self-loathing."

His fingers ghosted up and down her spine, eliciting a shiver and a moan. "Or you just stay and let me tell you the truth."

She was glad he couldn't see her indulgent smile as she could already picture his smug reaction. "So, what's your plan for today?" As much as it was the weekend and they weren't working, she didn't want to presume he was doing nothing.

His fingers were still drawing gentle patterns on her bare back as if it was the most natural action in the world while he replied, "You can remain exactly here for a bit, I can get us some breakfast and then decide as we go. Or you can have a shower or there's a pack of face wipes, if it's just mascara smears you're worried about, in the bathroom. The alternative to all that is that you can go and we never talk about this again which I'd understand but wouldn't be as fun."

Emma felt a warm fluttering inside her and couldn't resist peeking out at him. "A shower would be nice and food, give me at least ten minutes and we meet back here?"

"There are towels in there, you can even use my robe if you want," He kissed her above the sole eyebrow on show, before she pulled his face down and greeted him properly, tongues dancing around the other.


	3. Date

"There's this friend of a friend who you would really get on with."

"Daniel, I don't need set up." Jimmi said with an exhausted sigh.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't meet her any other way. You don't have someone at the moment, do you?"

Emma had wandered into the reception during the last part and was now looking on in amusement, "Ooh, what are we discussing?"

"Jimmi is refusing to go on a date with a woman I know."

She raised an eyebrow, the pleasure of seeing colleagues at personal discomfort in this way usually brightening a miserable day. "Why not?"

"I don't want to go on a blind date with one of Daniel and Zara's posh mates."

"Blind dates can be fun, you should go."

He turned sharply to her, not expecting her of all people to be supporting this idea. "Really? You think I should go out with some random woman?" Not that there was anything going on between them these days but it still felt odd for Emma to be encouraging it.

"Yes." Emma smiled with a playful glint in her eyes.

"Fine, you win but I'm not promising anything from it."

She picked up her box of patient notes and murmured to Daniel as they watched Jimmi walk away, "She better be worth my encouragement."

"I'm sure she is. Zara says she's very nice."

"You are setting him up with someone recommended by Zara? I thought it was you that knew her!" She said, annoyed at him telling half-truths.

"I trust her. She's known Jimmi long enough to know who he would like."

"For your sake I hope she isn't playing one of her games." Emma grimaced, her history with Zara tetchy at best.

"She is not always out to toy with people's lives."

Shaking her head, she looked back over her shoulder as she headed to her room. "One day I might believe you, Daniel, not quite today though."

During their lunch break Ayesha found Emma staring into blank space in the staffroom with what looked like a cold cup of coffee in her hand. "What's the matter? You've been weird all day."

"Nothing really, just thinking about things… Daniel has got Jimmi going on a date tomorrow."

"I could fix you up with someone if that's what you're hinting at." She said with a shrug, instantly flicking through her mental address book think of someone suitable.

"No, I do not want that."

After a quick pause in the conversion Ayesha started again. "So is it more to do with the actual man in question?"

"I don't know, maybe… yes… god! Okay, I seem to be thinking about him quite a lot which is totally ridiculous because how could I even begin to think I could feel something remotely like that for Jimmi? We were just a port in the storm one night and now he has a real date with some perfectly manicured woman who he'll no doubt fall for and they'll be so happy together."

The sheer amount that had just been said stunned Ayesha for a second. "Emma, you're rambling."

"Ugh, see! This is what I'm contending with." She moaned, placing her head in her hands. Ayesha patted her on the shoulder in comfort before leaving a fresh cup in front of her head.

That night Ayesha knew not to press Emma further on the subject - if she wanted to talk then she knew their was always a willing set of ears. It wasn't until they were eating a meal that Emma brought it up.

"By the way, about earlier, I'm just tired and wondering what could have been different in the past few months. I was exaggerating quite a lot."

"You don't have to give excuses, it's fair enough if you like him. Pretty sure he's smitten with you too." Emma gave her an unimpressed look, not realising for a second that most of her colleagues had a pool going on when they'd get together again - Daniel, unsurprisingly, had chosen the latest and was trying to ensure he was still winning.

"Daniel got it right though, they've known him for ages, if I was his ideal date then they knew where to find me."

"I wouldn't trust that pair with a goldfish never mind my lovelife."

The following day passed quietly at The Mill as Emma tried to avoid thinking about the difference between what her night was going to involve and his at a fancy restaurant. When they were back in the house she decided to indulge them in a pizza delivery with all the sides and had picked up a couple of tubs of ice cream on her way back. They were almost finished the desserts when there was a knock on the front door. Ayesha made an effort to move first and couldn't prevent her eyes widening as she took in who was on the doorstep.

"Is Emma here?"

Jimmi smirked at the momentary pause before she gave a slight nod, "Yeah, I'll just go get her."

"It's for you." Emma raised a questioning brow as she stood up and headed for the door.

"I thought you were supposed to be on a date." She commented, an edge of distaste in her tone, whilst subconsciously tightening her robe as she remembered she was in her pyjamas.

Not taking his hands from his jacket pockets he shrugged with a lopsided smile, "I realised I'd rather have been talking to you than the woman who was across from me."

"That is lovely, Jimmi but-"

"You can deny it all you want but I heard you in the staff room with Ayesha yesterday lunchtime. I was walking to my room and you may have mentioned something about thinking about a certain yours truly."

She closed her eyes briefly, wishing she was imagining this. "Of course you overheard. Seriously, when will that room be soundproofed? So you showed up feeling sorry for the crazy woman who after one lovely night is admitting that I think about how stupid I was to let it pass by on an hourly basis."

"No, Emma, it's because I've wanted to tell you for months that I feel the same. And that woman tonight, she was Zara's clone in every way. It was my idea of hell; you are thankfully different for the most part."

"The most part? Every part, thank you very much… Would you like a coffee?" She looked anywhere but at him as she asked. It had been easy that night at the casino because they fell into it easily with barely any discussion - actually taking a real step forward terrified her.

"She asks, after her housemate answered the door holding a very full glass of wine."

Emma laughed, the observation so accurate there was no way around it. "It's a good thing you already have a low impression of me. You must have the worst standards if I'm your pick."

"Right back at you." She shook her head in disagreement of his self-deprecation, mirroring him while she stepped aside. When they were in line with each other they locked eyes and leaned in. As their lips touched, however, it felt as easy and normal as their first time.

"Team Daniel and Zara will be so disappointed." She whispered as they took a breath.

"That will be almost as enjoyable as this," He smiled before kissing her again.


	4. Purpose

"Emma, please let me in."

"Just go away." The muffled voice on the other side of the door replied.

"No."

"Jimmi."

"I'm not leaving until you let me in."

After a moment he heard the lock click open so turned the handle. He guessed she had only reached across to unlock the door as she was sitting on the bed with her knees brought up to her chin. He locked the door again, knowing she wouldn't want everyone to be able to see her this way.

"You've seen me, now you can go." Her gaze was fixed on a random poster across the room, her cheeks flushed and mascara smudged from crying. Her last patient of afternoon surgery had been booked in for half an hour before but five minutes in she had knocked on the door across the corridor and asked Jimmi if she could pass the woman and her newborn through to him. From a brief glance at her eyes he couldn't refuse.

"Do you really want me to?"

She shrugged, before slowly shaking her head, not looking away once. Jimmi pushed himself up on to the bed and sat close.

"I could see it going like Rhiannon and Nicholas. I just couldn't…"

"You don't need to explain."

"I thought I was able to deal with things like that, they are probably a lovely family but these I don't trust people. How awful is a doctor if she cannot believe a new first time mum loves her baby?!"

"Come here." He murmured, allowing her balled-up figure to fall against his side as his arm went around her shoulder. Neither cared how long they sat like that for whilst Emma broke down again and tried to calm herself.

Still leaning against his body she wiped away the tears that were settling on her face. "Sorry."

"For what? You did nothing wrong."

Taking some deep breaths in she pulled herself away from him, trying to pretend she didn't feel anything when around him. "You should go, I'll be fine in a minute."

"I got the keys to close up from Mrs Tembe - told her I had a load of notes to write up and she had no idea you were still around. We have all the time you want."

"Am I really that much of a disaster?" She chuckled, actually appreciating the effort he put into checking on her.

"Emma, right now we're both trying to answer what is the point of our lives, but what if some part of it is to have met each other? You say you don't trust people but I trust you and I thought that was mutual after all this time. Yes, we are both seriously screwed up and it doesn't seem to make a huge difference in the long term but some little moments we've shared are so important, for me at least. I'm not meaning it in an 'I want to fall back into bed with you' way; I'm just saying that nobody else seems to get me the way you do and you know more of my story than I've told anyone else, and I honestly don't understand why I can do that with you."

"Jimmi, you can trust me with anything, no questions asked." As she had spoke those words her voice was stronger than it had for a long time. She knew how many people had made him lose faith in humans and she wanted him to understand he would always have her if needed. "And I do feel the same. Even when I lost the baby I had to tell Daniel, Niamh and Ayesha because they knew I was pregnant but I chose to tell you, I didn't want anyone to know but talking to you is like the easiest thing in the world, even if I was a similar state to this when we spoke about him." She gave him a weak smile, the recollection of sitting outside the funeral still difficult to think about.

"You know that if I'm across that hallway or when I'm elsewhere and you are struggling with anything at all then interrupt in whatever way you want: knock, phone, even text me if you don't want to speak."

Emma found his hand on the edge of the makeshift seat and slid her own over it, squeezing slightly as his thumb ran along her knuckles. "Thank you, and if I can help you with finding a point to why you're necessary to this world then come and find me. I can attest to you making everything else disappear in the most pleasant of ways, and you got a person to realise when their problems were starting to spiral without a second's hesitation in telling me to my face even when you could guess my reaction." He shrugged as they smiled at the other. They didn't say anything but both silently made up their minds to stay exactly as they were for a while longer, occasionally catching the other's eye or squeezing the hand they were still holding. It may not be as big or as planet-altering as they initially hoped for but if caring for their friend and being cared for was some purpose, it wasn't all bad.


	5. Stay

_You are the kiss I should forget,_  
 _My one night gone too far, my favourite accident.  
_ **Poison in My Veins - Ira Wolf**

* * *

"Stay."

"Emma?" He couldn't quite make her form out in the dark of the early hours but knew she must have awoken when he had left her bed.

"Please." She gently pulled his hand a couple of times and he had no wish to argue the matter, lying back down on the bed with his arm around her waist.

* * *

Jimmi could barely force his eyes open as he accepted the call on his mobile phone, only vaguely taking in the caller ID before an irritated voice was in his ear. "Dr Clay, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Mrs Tembe sorry, I am just leaving. My alarm didn't go off."

"At least you are coming in, Dr Reid has also not shown - Mrs Hollins is trying to get hold of her as we speak."

He internally cursed as he shook the woman next to him awake while covering her lips with his fingers to silence her, just as her mobile started to ring.

"Dr Clay, is that another phone ringing?"

"Landline, maybe Karen got mixed up as to who she was to call." Emma was sitting up by this point, initial glare hastily forgotten with her mobile in hand as she winced at the time. She moved on to the landing, quietly closing the door before accepting the call.

"What did you say?" He asked as she entered her bedroom once more, his call already over.

"Car wouldn't start." She glanced over her shoulder while pulling a clean blouse out of the wardrobe. "How did we sleep in?"

"I think we got a bit distracted last night without considering tiny matters like alarms." Since rekindling their occasional trysts they had always met on nights they didn't have work the next morning so that when the one left to go back to their own home there was time to sleep. "Emma, if your car is apparently broken and my car is actually in the Icon's car park, how are we getting to work?"

"I'll say I made a last-ditch attempt to start it after you checked in on me and I wanted to ensure it was running okay so picked you up?" She grimaced, knowing it sounded ridiculous but thinking it was the only option.

She left the doors opposite open as she went to brush her teeth and put on some make-up. "I should have a spare toothbrush hiding around here somewhere." After a minute of moving things around in a cupboard under the sink she finally found what she was after and handed him the object.

"Just pop it in the holder." She said once he was finished, while she attempted to cover the dark circles under her eyes.

They got to The Mill as quickly as they could following that but the patients were already complaining about the wait to Karen who barely gave them time to apologise for her inconvenience before sending the afflicted through to their consultation rooms. When lunch hit, they realised they had not had a moment to breathe never mind think about what had happened since leaving this building the previous day. Neither had brought anything for lunch in the rush before leaving her house also, so Emma was planning to convince Ayesha or one of the receptionists to go to the Icon with her - the idea of asking Jimmi along briefly crossed her mind but she chickened out at the last minute. Serendipity, however, intervened and as she was looking for the other women she found Jimmi and Al in the staff-room.

Taking a bite of his sandwich Al spoke to her, "I was thinking about how strange it is that everything seems to be breaking today, your alarm Jimmi and then your car, what an unfortunate morning." Emma looked at him sharply, knowing Jimmi would not have told him about them but not trusting the tone of their colleague's voice.

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Yeah, I suppose it's a bit strange. You had better be careful with all the technology in your office in case this unlucky streak continues."

Al suddenly turned his back on her to face Jimmi, "By the way, I thought you only had one of those purple shirts."

He could see Emma standing behind Al shaking her head vehemently and holding up two fingers.

Almost ready to ignore her actions he realised that it was because he hadn't yet had a chance to change into a spare shirt he kept in the Mill. "No, no, it was a double pack. I just don't wear either that often normally."

"How long did you stay in the Icon last night then to make you sleep in? Don't worry, nobody told Mrs T about going out." Most of the staff members had went along to celebrate getting through half of a busy week and they had gradually dwindled in numbers with Al bowing out before he got a chance to see the rest part with Emma and Jimmi getting a taxi together, not planning until she said her address to spend the night with each other, luckily Ayesha and Sid had continued on to a club for a couple more hours.

"It wasn't just us that stayed."

"Us? Jimmi, who are you referring to, did you go home with someone?" Emma hadn't even noticed the misstep herself and by the looks of it neither had Jimmi, now they both felt their stomach sink. She tried to keep her face straight as she sat on the sofa and took a drink of her coffee as Al's eyes flicked to her.

"No. I was just encompassing Emma since she was late today as well."

Al looked accusingly between the two in silence until Karen walked in and sat at the table. "Hey, Hollins, what do you call a one-night stand that happens twice?"

"What are you-" Al motioned to the other company in the staff-room and she promptly covered her mouth in surprise, "Nooo! Mrs T said there was another phone ringing in his house. Surely it wasn't Emma's?" Karen said, swirling on her chair to point at the woman in question.

"Both of you can live in that fantasy world for as long as you want but you're totally deluded." Emma made up her mind that, if necessary she would go into the town centre for lunch by herself if only to escape the looks that she and Jimmi were now receiving, and the gossip that would spread around by the start of afternoon surgery.

* * *

Emma left the matter for a couple of hours and didn't make her presence obvious to anyone unless needed but knocked on Jimmi's door eventually when she saw they were both free, bringing a cup of coffee for each of them. They made some small talk before she moved on to the intended topic, "About last night, this morning, whatever you want to call it - I really enjoyed having you there."

"I enjoyed being there."

"The problem is the fact I don't want that lot to keep thinking we are having one-night stands every other day."

"It's alright, Emma, as usual we had a nice time and if anything they only think we've slept together twice."

"But, what if… what if we were more than one-night stands? I mean, we've had enough of them by now," They tried to ignore the thoughts of the number of evenings they had found themselves in bed together, "to know we make a good match."

"And you asked me to stay last night."

"And I asked you to stay." Emma relented, knowing that he understood asking men to be there until morning was not something she did often, regardless of how tired she had been at the time.

"And let me have a toothbrush left over at yours."

"None of that was a conscious method of persuasion, and I could find someone else to sit with over coffees." She raised a brow and teasingly went to get to her feet before he laughed and told her to sit back down, "Emma, now what would be the point in only using a toothbrush once?"

"See, it all makes sense," She replied softly, watching herself circling the rim of her mug with a finger. "Are you sure about this... me... being with me?"

He nodded without hesitation, he had been trying to build up the courage to start this same conversation for a few weeks but never quite could as she seemed to move on until they were together again. "Al and Karen aren't going to let us hear the end of this. Let's just remember alarms and different clothes in the future." Both were grinning stupidly and avoiding the other's eyes but not necessarily feeling awkward, simply not used to this kind of moment.


End file.
